Foster Care and Music - How One Voice Got Me Through The Hardest Time Of My Life.....

For those who know me, its not a secret that I was kid who spent a majority of his life in foster care while growing up.   From January 30th, 2000 until March 22nd, 2014, I was in foster care.    Sadly, you hear in the media all the time:  "Parent abused Child: Arrested" or "Child dies after suffering abuse: Investigation ongoing".    But what happens to the kids who get put in foster care?  Well today I answer that.  We try to go on living a childhood like every other child, but the only difference is: we no longer are children.   The moment an abuser puts their hands on us, it stunts our bio/psycho/social growth.  We no longer know how to be kids anymore (though we may rediscover bits and pieces as we grow older).   Trauma does not pull any punches (crappy pun intended).   Its even worse (if that is at all possible) when taken from an abusive situation, to be put in a foster home, (not once, but twice) where they abuse, neglect, and exploit you.  So how do we cope with such trauma?   Simple:  We keep to ourselves.  We don't trust, don't open ourselves up to potential harm that inevitably will kill us.   But there is those few small comforts we sometimes have to cope with the loneliness, the inability to connect, and the inability to grow.  For me, my comfort was Harry Potter Books and Country music.  Not any country artist would do though.   For me, the person who saved my life, was Billy Gilman.  There were days in which I did not have hope, or feel love.  I would put on Billy's album "One Voice" and listen to Oklahoma.   The child in the song and I related so much.   My entire childhood revolved around Billy.   I used to think if I sang his songs and pretended to be up on stage with him, my life could not possibly be as messed up as it was.   My three favorite albums were "One Voice", "Dare to Dream", and "Everything and More".  Each one of these iconic albums had its songs I absolutely fell in love with and I went through more CD's than one person should (this was mostly due to the constant moving around I was doing within the foster care system).   To this day, I still listen to Billy, and even voted for him when he made his return to music on The Voice.   Do I wish that someday I could see him perform live, meet him, and tell him how much of a difference he made during the hardest part of my life?  ABSOLUTELY!   I will never forget every day that I was in foster care.   It was hell on earth for me, but I made it thanks to this kid whose voice helped me through 14 years.   Today, I run my own organization advocating for child abuse victims, work with kids doing skills training, and am still singing my heart out.